Panel Questions

Aug 12, 2017
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BILL KURTIS: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME, the NPR News quiz. I'm Bill Kurtis. We're playing this week with Paula Poundstone, Roy Blount Jr., Alonzo Bodden. And here again is your host at Davies Symphony Hall in San Francisco, Peter Sagal.

(APPLAUSE)

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Thank you, Bill. In just a minute, Bill throws a Hail Mary to Jerry Rhymece (ph). It's the Listener Limerick Challenge.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Right now, panel, some more questions for you from this week's news. Roy, according to Vice News, every day, twice a day, President Trump receives a special dossier filled with important information. What is in that dossier?

ROY BLOUNT JR: I don't see how it can be very thick, but apparently it is - either it is or he is - and it is all the favorable stories about him from the day.

SAGAL: Yes, that's exactly right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: It's two daily dossiers - morning and evening - of praise for Donald Trump. And they say that each one is 20 to 25 pages long, which seems like a lot of pages for a collection of praise for Donald Trump. But...

PAULA POUNDSTONE: Is there...

SAGAL: ...Keep in mind, we don't know what size the font is, so it could be...

POUNDSTONE: Yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: ...Could be page one, you. Page two, are.

ALONZO BODDEN: So how long does it take Sean Hannity to write 25 pages?

SAGAL: It's true.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Interestingly - and I want to point this out - this rather remarkable news about his daily briefings leaked just a week after the departure of Reince Priebus and Sean Spicer - coincidence. Contacted for comment, Spicer said, quote, "I won't comment on materials we share with the president," unquote, adding, can't get clean, can't get clean, I scrub all day. I can't get clean.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Roy, France now has the first ever 24-hour vending machine for people who wake up in the middle of the night, and they just have a craving. They got to get what?

BLOUNT JR: Snails.

SAGAL: Close.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: You are on. You - it is a mollusk that French people like to eat.

BLOUNT JR: I thought that was snails.

SAGAL: No, I'll give you a hint. No, if you're really lucky, you'll get a pearl.

BLOUNT JR: Oh, oysters.

SAGAL: Oysters.

POUNDSTONE: Really?

SAGAL: It's an oyster vending machine.

POUNDSTONE: I thought they had to be fresh.

BLOUNT JR: Yeah.

SAGAL: Well...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: ...Just save a couple of quarters for the antibiotics vending machine right next to it.

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: Yeah, what about - don't they have to be - how long do they stay in that vending machine?

SAGAL: Well, it's sort of like - it's apparently tended, and they're on ice. But, you know...

POUNDSTONE: It's tended.

SAGAL: Yeah.

POUNDSTONE: What do you mean, it's tended?

SAGAL: Well, people are...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: People are putting oysters on the ice - in the ice and...

POUNDSTONE: There's someone inside the...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: A little hand comes out holding an oyster.

POUNDSTONE: Why not...

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: Why not just have a restaurant, for Christ's sake?

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Well, because there are no - there - or rather, very few people involved in serving you the oysters, you get...

POUNDSTONE: So there's just - there's really a person in there.

SAGAL: I don't...

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: (Imitating French accent) Hello.

(LAUGHTER)

BLOUNT JR: But oysters are hard to shuck. I mean, they're - I can't see how...

SAGAL: Well...

BLOUNT JR: ...It'd work.

SAGAL: ...They say the oysters are only 8 bucks a dozen. But the vending machine that sells knives is 40 bucks each.

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: Oh, the guy's not in there shucking them.

SAGAL: I guess so. I don't know.

(LAUGHTER)

BLOUNT JR: A little guy probably.

POUNDSTONE: You can hear, like, a scraping sound and then, ah [expletive].

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: (Imitating French accent) It's so dark in here. I [expletive] shuck my hand again.

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: (Imitating French accent) Why am I in a vending machine?

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: (Imitating French accent) Someone come please buy an oyster...

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: ...Before I cut my [expletive] hand again.

(LAUGHTER) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.